Before I was an army wife, or even a mother, I was Melissa. Strong and independent. I put myself through college, earning a B.A. in English, then a Master’s in Education. Now, after eight years of marriage–over seven of those years within the military–I stand proudly with him. But not as a wife who must always be on display. I am, first and foremost, still Melissa. Three deployments and constant separations have nearly broken us. Our marriage has been pushed to the brink of divorce. But we thrive. And, after many separations, I have finally realized one thing: We are in charge of our marriage. Not the military. And certainly not a deployment. I have two small children, a daughter who is 6, and a son, 5. I am still strong, and independent. Only now, all that falls under two words: military wife. My pain, my love, and my experiences are now in my book, The Day After He Left for Iraq.
Her War, Her Voicehttp://herwarhervoice.com/
1. Where do you usually write?
In several places, actually. Usually my best thoughts happen in the shower. I often put a pen and paper outside the shower, or use the bath crayons to write on the wall. I also love the feeling of pen/pencil on paper, so I have several paper clusters that follow me around. All of it finally ends up at my computer. While I prefer my royal typewriter, I know others need things emailed to them rather than snail mailed.
2. Do you watch tv or listen to music when you write?
It depends on the subject. For a young adult novel I am working on, I prefer listening to music. For my blogs about my life, I prefer to let the words speak to me and flow. Sometimes a song will spark writing for me, though. I thoroughly believe the two are intertwined.
3. How do you deal with writer’s block. Please give me some suggestions?
I cluster. All the time. I need a continuous list of bubbles so that I can see the connections. I also write this question to myself: "What is bothering you?" Once I sit to answer this question, I find it usually leads me to the path of writing. I also always carry pen and paper with me and take notes of what is going on throughout the day. If you write down your stream of thought, often you have a topic glaring at you.
4. What is the most rewarding thing writing? The most frustrating?
The most rewarding for me is fiction. I love writing a piece that others dissect and talk character and plot. To me, that is an ultimate experience. The most frustrating thing for me is writing and writing and pouring my soul into a piece, only to hear that the parts that spoke most for me were misinterpreted by the reader. If I spend hours crafting a thought, I want it to make it through the writing, landing on the reader with the intent I first constructed. If it creates dialogue, then I am most pleased. And very happy. The worst, though, is getting "I don't get it." That is when I go back to the drawing board.
5. How do you fit writing into your day? Do you set aside time or just wing it?
I do both. When I don't have something bursting from me, I often don't push it. But in some form, a pen is in my hand at all times. I like to capture the thoughts of the day. Sooner or later, then will have a home.
6. What is your favorite blog(s)? Can you give me a short list?
The blogs I prefer to read are actually personal blogs of military life. I deeply enjoy reading other perspectives on this life, and I love searching for a new voice to highlight. A new story to share. As for personal reading, I don't read on the computer. I prefer a book in one hand, and a pen in the other to take notes. My books are very marked.
7. Who or what inspires your writing?
Oh my. This question is just as hard for me as "What is your favorite book?" There is no one thing. I find much inspiration in the human experience. Sometimes, this comes from a fictional character. Recently, strong female heroines are very influencing to me. I read them and think, "I hope my daughter turns out like this." I also really draw from strong women in our community, and leaders that stand for integrity rather than popularity.
I'm also very moved by music. Art. My children. My husband. My friends. My garden. The soil moving through my hands.
I am quite the hippy and tortured artist, I suppose.
Fill in the blanks:
Writing makes me feel outside the box_.
Sex. (It is too easy) is a topic I would never write about.
Reading _anything that degrades another's belief system makes me see red!
Reading _FICTION! gives me great pleasure and satisfaction.
My favorite writers/journalists are: Barbara Kingsolver. Bobbie Ann Mason. J.K. Rowling. Milton. James Joyce. Sylvia Plath. Anne Sexton. Maya Angelou. Toni Morrison. I could go on. :).
People Magazine is my guilty pleasure.
